Monday, June 14, 2010

Hormonal much?

My hormones have been pretty stable for the most part this pregnancy.

Until recently, that is.

It seems like the past week I cannot stop crying at stupid stuff. The first time was when Mr. D innocently (and light-heartedly) said something along the lines of "I thought pregnant women knew what they wanted to eat, but I'm always choosing our meals!" in reference to the fact that I have ZERO cravings and Mr. D always has to decide where we're eating and what groceries we're buying for the week.

I just don't have much of an appetite for anything. Put it in front of me, and I'll eat the hell out of it. But I don't want to make up my mind.

Anyway, even though he wasn't being malicious in the slightest, it still made me start bawling my eyes out. "I'm so sorryyyyyy!" I wailed. "I wish I could make choices!!" I had to go lay down and cry for a few minutes. Then I got up and we went to a fair and I chose to eat a deep fried snickers bar and deep fried onion with ranch dressing. Oops. Maybe that's why I don't let myself make choices.

Then I had McDonald's for lunch the other day, and I felt so guilty that I cried about that. (Note: I did NOT cry over the deep fried onion or candy bar. Those were worth it. I was at a fair, come on!)

Last night I was telling Mr. D that I loved him, and started bawling my eyes out. Because I love him so much. Haha. It's funny now, but last night I was so overwhelmed with the emotion of love that I just cried and cried!

Now that I'm on summer vacation, I torture myself by watching hours of baby delivery shows. Every time that baby comes out of it's mom, I tear up a little. It makes me so excited to meet this little guy or girl!!

It's also another reminder to me that no one should expect any pregnant woman to make a choice, because this show takes me through a roller coaster of opinions. A woman on one episode will say "I'm going drug free!" and I shout "Yes, good for you! That makes ME want to go drug free! I can do it!" and then she starts freaking out from the pain and my stance immediately changes to "Yeah, definitely getting some drugs as soon as I can..." BUT THEN - the next woman on the next episode will have an awesome epidural-free birth, 10 minutes after the last one I saw, and I am back to, "No drugs for me! I can do that!" I have no mind of my own.

This is also why Mr. D recommends that I do not get my hair cut while I'm pregnant.

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